I am just back from a walk in 13 degrees and lovely sunshine. For the first time there was that smell that makes me feel spring is about to begin. If it only was spring already, I thought to myself. Then everything would start flowering and the air would smell that fresh all the time.

I had a similar thought when I was walking through Greystones in December and the Christmas decorations came on for the first time: Finally, the Christmas season has arrived that I had been waiting for so long. Time to get cosy in our lovely home in front of the fire. My next thought was that the depressing January is just around the corner though.

Last weekend we were browsing through several home stores, picking out paint for our living room that needs to be renovated. We had a look at curtains, re-arranged the furniture in our heads and chose the pictures to go up on the wall. By the time we got home, we were both eager to get started, but eventually stuck to the original plan to wait until March. Since then, however, all I am seeing is the faded colours on the walls and the things that are in need of repair. It is still the same cosy living room after all.

Our little “sunshine” is just over 8 months now and is changing every day. His first teeth are coming through and he is babbling away. I sometimes catch myself proudly telling people that he has started saying Da-da for Daddy, comparing the number of teeth to babies the same age or asking if he should be crawling properly at that stage. Time is already flying by, so why wishing he was further ahead?

It’s called Mindfulness

All the above examples have one thing in common: I am always thinking about something in the future rather than being in the moment. And that is what I do most of the time. Even when everything is perfect – I guess a living room in need of refurbishment is not exactly an imperfection – it is hard for me to enjoy what I have and I keep thinking about what could be better.  It is ridiculous that I will ruin a perfect today worrying about a possible future.

I have been thinking about taking a Mindfulness Course and learn how to focus my awareness on the present moment, what mindfulness means by definition. But whilst the concept is simple, it is not that easy for me to apply. I like to be distracted by music or silly TV-shows while doing chores in the house, rather than focusing on what I am doing. I guess it is understandable when it comes to folding the laundry – who is not wishing oneself away while doing that?

However I come to the conclusion that I don’t like being alone with my thoughts. Or am I just not used to it anymore? Whenever I have 5 minutes during the day, my phone gets taken out. It’s not that I fear I could miss something or that much has changed since the last time I checked. No, I actually hope for it. Something will be there to “entertain” me for sure. Although I know beforehand that nothing on Facebook or the like could be as important as what is going on in real life.

Belated New Year’s Resolutions

The next time I go for a walk in the winter sun, seeing trees without leaves and taking in the smell of the approaching spring, I will enjoy that rather than wishing for the actual spring to arrive. And I won’t wish for summer in spring, nor Christmas to come when it is autumn. Doesn’t waiting for something make it more precious?

Instead of spoiling an occasion for myself by thinking about how quickly it will pass, I am going to enjoy the time until it finally arrives. And planning a little highlight for afterwards might also be helpful to avoid the “after-blues”. It’s all about positive thinking :-)!

The biggest one for me to work on is being grateful for what I have instead of seeing flaws and imperfections in everything. Not an easy one, but since when are New Year’s resolutions easy to accomplish?

Easy on the other hand will be enjoying every moment with our son without constantly judging what he should be able to do at his age or not. I sometimes get carried away by talking to other mums and hearing about their “wonder babies” and I am not any different. Our little one is perfect the way he is and I will go with him through each and every change, whenever it happens and no matter how long it takes.

There is another point that I can already take off the list, namely posting that article as soon as possible in order to get these resolutions out there and not being able to ignore them anymore.