My husband John says that you can spot a German in Ireland. Apparently they wear rain or hiking gear of a certain brand, often in matching colours with their partners. I guess that speaks to the German virtues of being prepared and a lack of spontaneity. When I was working in tourism, we described the German target group with the term “planned spontaneity“. I always thought this was very funny and apt at the same time. There is a bit of truth in every stereotype.

The Beginning of a Friendship

When I met Anja for the first time in the Greystones Breastfeeding Support Group, I definitely didn’t “spot the German“. In fact Anja spotted me, or rather overheard me speaking to my 4-months old in German. Anja had a newborn baby girl at the time and this was how our friendship began about three years ago.

Anja had already been living in Greystones for three years and on and off in Ireland since 2007. As a matter of fact, she was living right around the corner from us, but our paths had never crossed. At least I had never spotted her. Maybe she wasn’t wearing the right type of rain jacket to identify her as a German.

The two of us clicked from the start. Our little ones being close in age gave us a lot to talk about. We were sharing a similar daily routine, challenges and worries as new first time moms. Not that talking in German was essential to me, but it gave me the extra bit of familiarity and comfort to settle in to my new life in Greystones and as a stay-at-home mom.

The Ladies who Lunch

Soon we had our regular Thursdays together, venturing through Greystones with our buggies. We met other mammies, shared baby updates, and went for coffee or lunch. Whilst our outings were not purely pleasurable, and often dominated by keeping our little explorers at bay, John pictured us as elegant ladies 1920’s style, strolling along the beach promenade, parasols in hand and pushing our sleeping babies. Anja’s husband David had a similar image in mind and nicknamed us “The Ladies who lunch” or “Yummy yummy Friends”.

We always had a good time though! Neither of us missed being stuck in the office or behind a desk. All the more when most moms went back to work after their maternity leave, we appreciated the time with our little ones, as well as each other, out and about as stay-at-home moms.

Closer in Ireland

Not only our children becoming best buddies gave us a lot of common ground. We were never short of something to talk about, even though our interests would have been quite different before we had kids. Anja is passionate about (classical) music and dreams of playing the piano one day. She has been a member of the Bray Choral Society since 2015, where she sings the Alto Voice.

We do share an interest for foreign languages which both brought us to Ireland. Anja has a Diploma as Literary Translator, translating novels, children’s books and plays from English and French into German. Time permitting she works on projects of her choice on a Freelance basis.

Introducing Bergisches Land

When Anja tells me about the region Bergisches Land she grew up in, it reminds me a lot of County Wicklow, which be both picked as our home of choice. Rolling green hills, forests and lush green all around, scattered farms in between. The wide-stretched nature district is situated between the dense industrial area of the Ruhrgebiet and the low mountain range of the Sauerland. Whilst the name Bergisches Land contains the German word for ‘mountain’ (=Berg), it is actually not referring to its geographical features, but was named after Count Berg who reigned the area in the Middle Ages.

Germany loves its Records

Anja’s hometown Wermelskirchen, not too far from Cologne with its UNESCO World Heritage cathedral, offers plenty to explore. It wouldn’t be Germany if it didn’t have one of the oldest, highest, most famous something. So let’s throw some records about the Bergisches Land around, shall we?

The Eschbachtalsperre in Remscheid is the oldest potable water reservoir in Germany. Whilst the lake isn’t suitable for swimming, the nature path around it is a popular local recreation area and part of the Camino de Santiago.

The Müngstener Brücke across the Wupper Valley holds a height record in railway bridges. Its impressive steel arch resembles the construction of the Eiffel Tower in Paris.

Probably the first and only elephant ever falling out of a suspension railway into the river below was “Tuffy”. Whilst rides in the world’s oldest electric elevated railway with hanging cars in Wuppertal are still a popular attraction, the elephant passenger was a once off. A bronze statue in the city centre reminds of the curious incidents during the 1950’s.

The “heart-shaped“ Wupper Valley

No visit to Germany would be complete without seeing a medieval castle. You are certainly spoilt for choice here, but if you equally value culinary highlights, then pick Schloss Burg (funnily it literally translates as ‘Castle [named] Fortress’). It is famous for its ‘Bergische Kaffeetafel’ which would be similar to an Irish Afternoon Tea. Just replace ‘tea’ with ‘coffee’ which is here served in a traditional ‘Dröppelminna’ (= antique coffee pot made from tin) and with heart-shaped waffles.

No wonder that Anja and her husband David got married here. Well, not in the castle itself, but the lovely Wupper Valley. I am sure that something “heart-shaped” was involved anyway.

The Irresistible Irish Men

Like in my own story with my husband John, Anja was put into David’s life (or the other way around) by some helping hand. After gaining some experience abroad with her friend to improve her English skills, Anja left Ireland in 2009 after 1.5 years. It wasn’t an easy decision, but she had only intended to stay for 1 year and thought it was time to go back to her family in Germany. Moreover, her plan was to start working as a translator which she had trained for.

However, Ireland wasn’t ready to let her go and put David on the scene. Both fell in love by writing to each other online. Hence Anja didn’t stay in Germany for too long. After she had met David on neutral ground face-to-face for the first time, Anja became a frequent guest in Ireland again. Being flexible as self-employed translator helped with her “jet-setting“ life. In 2014 Anja and David moved from his Dublin City apartment to Greystones and the rest is history.

Deal Breaker Bus Timetable

Due to her excellent language skills and easing herself into the Irish way of life, Anja didn’t really suffer a cultural shock when moving to Ireland for good. The Irish and German life styles are not too different after all. And you know that you are well suited for another country when you consider the bus timetables the biggest challenge.

I have to agree with Anja that it doesn’t make sense to display the times the bus is leaving the terminus at, rather than the departure time from the bus stop like in Germany. On the other hand you can kill some waiting time by working out when the bus is supposedly getting there. Or it gives you the perfect opportunity to pull the “foreigner card” and start a chat with a local.

“Make Friends by Doing your Own Thing“

When I ask Anja what she found most challenging about getting to know Irish people she says: “Actually it was much easier than I expected. Whilst my first friends in Ireland were foreigners themselves, I made Irish friends over time by just following my own interests rather than actively looking for contacts. Hence I met one of my first Irish friends in the choir of Trinity College.“

“The Irish mentality is very welcoming and sociable so that you hardly feel excluded“, Anja continues. “Besides, they are a nation of emigrants themselves and according to my experience the Irish perception of Germans is quite positive. So once you are open to it, friendships will happen automatically“. Even when you don’t use the bus timetable debacle as an icebreaker.

My “Wing Woman“ for Mammy Friendships

Looking back, I can confirm what Anja says about meeting locals. At the beginning however, I found it hard to become part of existing structures. After work (Irish) people went home to their families or went out with their group of friends. I needed a door-opener who already had Irish friends which was my husband John for me. Once you have kids, there are many locals who start from scratch too after leaving their work environment. That really helps. But even then I prefer to have a “wing woman“ for going out. This is how Anja and I made many lovely mammy friends.

“Be Happy or Change“

I am grateful to have Anja as my friend. Apart from the fact that I like spending time with her, she is very positive and optimistic which perfectly counteracts my moody character. Her philosophy of life “Be happy. If you are not happy, change something“ perfectly summarises her life-affirming attitude.

It looks like Anja doesn’t need to change anything in her life right now. Her answer to what she misses most from our home country Germany (except family and friends) includes just minor things that she can easily live without. Hence Anja doesn’t have the desire to return to Germany which suits me just fine.